It has been so cold recently. The coldest beginning of June I can remember since we moved to these parts nine years ago. I wish I could tell you that each time the winter season comes around I am better prepared, more accepting and embracing of it's unique opportunities and prompts - but I'm not. I loathe it. My whole body seems to go on protest: sore, knotted, aching, raw, sad. I have some deeper issues with my health and specifically my thyroid that we are trying to pin down and support - and interestingly one of it's symptoms is poor circulation and an increased sensitivity to the cold. Knowing this helps, if only to remind me that my body is actually finding it more difficult to winter than previous years. I wish I could curl up in a cave to hibernate and reappear with the bright sun in spring!
I recently finished knitting a shawl using a skein of handspun and dyed wool I bought on my birthday weekend at Tarndie Farm. I used some other fingering weight yarn a friend gave me. All through the knitting process I wondered how these colours would sit together, how unusual and theatrical they seemed. I wasn't sure I would like it, let alone want to wear it. And now the shawl is finished I chuckle at it's honest reflection of winter: the brown wood for the heater, table tops and toast, the silver frost, grey hairs, woollen jumpers, and the red rosehips, beetroots, swollen fingertips, blessed life-giving blood. Best of all it's soft and warm, exactly what I need. How are you going? Is it winter for you or is summer unfurling? If you were here I'd put the kettle on and we would pull our chairs close to fire and sip warm relief. Take care x
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Winter ending and all about us glimmers of colour and life emerging: growing grass and velvety moss a shocking green which months of soaking rain will bring. There's blue through skeleton trees, that if you look carefully reveal tiny shoots and buds. The garden gifts us lettuce, spinach and broccoli florets and the fattest worms we've ever seen. Longer days means more eggs laid and outdoor rambles before tea. I spy a rainbow on the fridge and all manner of drawings plastered above boys' beds. So much good food on our tables, freuqent celebrations for little things. And everywhere we look daffodils and jonquils blooming. Thankful //
Midwinter is damp and overcast and my hands ache in the cold // We enter our fifth lockdown and return to the rollercoaster of big feelings and disappointments, slowness and exasperation // The heater is lit every day and kept glowing hot over night, and the nook beside it is perfectly cat shaped // Wood cut from trees that blew over in the storm are stacked up to dry // Craft brings much comfort - face masks for friends and family, a colorful beret from leftover yarn scraps and a thin nae shawl in a delicious deep red // Hope is a short walk every day on my own, ruby rose hips on a dry vine, wax flowers on the kitchen bench, flower buds on the Chinese quince // Hope is everything beautiful and true and praiseworthy, the Good Shepherd who leads me gently on, in everything we can't see yet, a cup of hot tea, a ray of sunshine on the cheek //
Down by the river no boys playing, banks submerged with rain - everything rushing, gushing, gurgling, sodden and soaking, debris caught and foaming. I watch the water mesmerised, it's a funny kind of sympathy she reflecting me: that spilling out, forcefully, an overflow of feelings days of rain and howling winds bring - of wondering, half-sleeping, weeks of lockdown and isolation familiar paths, unsettling us again and again. I'm a mess of worry and relief we know we're the lucky ones with animals safe, with house in tact that's dry and warm - spirit within us, hovering, rest and disturbance. Down by the river I'm a woman lingering, listening to the flow - birds are singing, darting in the trees and on my face blessed sun, shining. Early June is quiet and cold. Rain and wind shakes off what remains of the autumn leaves. I watch boys ride bikes around puddles and muddy their knees. Slowly, I clear out the garden of weeds and dead things, add to the bonfire pile and compost heap. Mulch the broccoli and leeks. Sow beans, peas, lettuce and carrot seeds. Prune the roses and the plum tree. I spy the green tips of bulbs emerging, hyacinth and daffodils. Inside the wood heater is kept stoked and warm. We mark off the days until the lockdown lifts, then the days until the school holidays, how long till spring begins. I bake often - for hunger and comfort, elevenses and afternoon tea. Winter is reading in bed with a hot water bottle on your chest and socks on your feet. Winter is slowing down whether you want to or not, feeling the cold and savouring heat //
Banana, Coconut + Raspberry Bread 125 butter, softened 1 cup brown sugar // OR 1 cup honey or maple syrup 2 ripe bananas 4 eggs 1/4 cup olive oil 3/4 cup rice flour + 3/4 tapioca starch // OR 1 + 1/2 cups GF plain flour mix 1/2 cup coconut flour // OR desiccated coconut for a rougher texture 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg 2 teaspoons GF baking powder 1 cup frozen raspberries // OR berries of your choice // OR 100g chopped dark chocolate Makes 1 large loaf - - - In a large bowl or mixer cream together butter and sugar - followed by mashed bananas, eggs and olive oil. Mix in flours, spices and baking powder. It should be a thick batter consistency. Finally gently stir in raspberries. Pour mixture into a high-sided loaf tin that has been well-greased (or lined with baking paper - I usually just squash a rectangle of baking paper into the tin) and make in a moderate oven at 180'c for 45 mins - 1 hour. It will be ready once a skewer or knife inserted into the centre of the bread comes out clean. GF Anzacs with a twist 2 cups quinoa flakes 1 cup puffed amaranth 1 cup desiccated coconut zest of 1 orange 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 cup GF plain four // OR 1/2 cup each rice flour and tapioca starch 1 cup brown sugar 1/2 cup honey 200g butter 1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda - - - Preheat moderate oven to 180'c. Place quinoa, amaranth, coconut, flour, zest, cinnamon, flour and brown sugar in a large bowl. Meanwhile heat the butter and honey in a saucepan over a low heat until the butter is melted. Remove from the heat and stir in bicarb soda (it will fizz up a bit) - tip wet mixture into the dry ingredients and stir to combine. Shape a heaped tablespoon of mixture into paper-lined oven trays (I ended up with four trays of cookies). Use a fork to flatten the tops and bake for 12-15 minutes until golden. Cool and store in an airtight container - they last ages! Down by the river
three boys throwing rocks and launching leaf boats, we marvel at the flow banks swollen with rain yes there’s a wild peace a wet peace and peace among the moss and rocks, wavering willow limbs gifts of gurgling, gifts of sunshine gifts of wrens in hawthorn, a single white feather on the ground it’s cold when clouds come: we shudder and wonder if it’s home that’s calling us or just the magpies warbling an afternoon song down by the river we always find we won’t need much at all. A blessing from the winter sky:
blue crispness to smile under grey shrouds to sorrow in A blessing from the tall trees: grey gum, golden wattle shivering elm, naked oak A blessing from the sparkling frost: crunch of grass underfoot bright sun upon your face A blessing from the rain: deep soaking of your soul bulbs and seeds about to burst A blessing from the dark earth: slow work of worms and webbing of roots A blessing from the cold wind: breath made visible warmth of wood and wool A blessing from the long night: a welcome to your shadows love enfolding sleep the last days at baynton
were glowing with winter sun I made sure we soaked it in: we circled the paddock climbed the big old fallen tree the one we pretended was a sailing ship or a steam train or a secret hide-out we surveyed the landscape the familiar lines of home the boots of my children kicking the dust around the dam’s edge our ginger cat Pickles, sleeping by the back door (the last time we would see him) the way the afternoon light streamed on the laundry door made the bricks warm to touch, danced above the kitchen cupboards the wind that rattled the roof at night shook the tree tops woke us in our beds and now the strains of moving are well behind us - weary bones rested, now that spring is here and we smell flowers and we feel air on our toes those little waves of feeling come, crash, fall away, go over and again: the house we used to know the place we called home Winter wanders
round the paddock - with sticks and fallen logs and curving branches we fashion wigwams, secret places to crawl into and whisper stories - Winter wonders are mundane things made magical: frosted fenceposts, ice crystals on the lawn, cut glass hanging in the window catches the late afternoon sun and makes rainbows dance on the ceiling, baby blowing farewell kisses, Winter warmers: every single ray of sunshine, frothy milk with cocoa, socks on our toes, five layers against the chest, conversation in bed he curled around me curled around a hot water bottle, blankets pulled up to our necks - Winter work numb hands packing cold eggs, building blocks and train tracks - brooding baby chicks, boxes of belongings opened and sorted, bon fire blazing (the broken crib, rocking chair) earth tilled, turned, weeded, mulched, seed-studded, Winter woman lets the season wash over her: the difficulties and the beauty - and the more she lets herself slow down, lie dormant, the better it feels, to be laid bare wintering here we are again
wintering, we delight in the green of our garden, cabbages and snow pea shoots, bulbs emerging, how quickly the body changes with the season - craves warm cups of tea and sunshine on the cheek, hopes for clothes to dry on the line, clear noses, more sleep - as farm life begins to slow, we are so very ready to unplug, unwind, stretch those tired muscles, help a back heal, ask big questions about ourselves, our future, dreams - we lie awake at night for the unknowns, for the night feeds, we rise in the morning our breath made visible in the crisp air the kettle boils slowly, the porridge slower still - and sometimes the pasture is covered in sparkling frost and sometimes when we drive to school the fog is so thick we can barely see ahead, then pulling up by the playground we hear children running around laughing, for the novelty of the thing - this season, and it's only just beginning. |
ABOUT the authorEmily Clare Sims is a farmer and mama to three young boys. Each day she looks for ways to notice beauty, contemplate her faith and savour the seasons... Categories
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